Listen to or Buy Tastiera Music

Free MP3 Download: Jingle Schmingle.mp3

Lyrics and Music Copyright ©1988 Shawn W. Miller

A few words from the Alleged Artist:
"A Velvet Cockroach Christmas" was recorded in two halves, one in December 1987 and the other in December 1988. Together, they form a collection that has almost certainly reserved me a spot in hell. This song emerged as most people's favorite, probably because of the excellent quality of the vocals and its general feel-good vibe. Do keep in mind that I was nineteen years old when I recorded this. Not that much has changed, although I do occasionally wear nicer shoes.

jingle schmingle

sloshing through the snow that covers my driveway
it's seventy below
what a stupid day
the ice begins to sting
i think i've got frostbite
i hope those stupid carolers don't bother me tonight

hey, jingle bells, go to hell
get out of my way
oh what fun it is to shove my fist right through your face
jingle this, jingle that
have a lousy day
and don't come back again until your voice has gone away

don't get the wrong idea, but i'm not in the mood
think i've got diarrhea from all this freakin' food
oh come all ye retarded and cram onto my porch
hey thanks to all these stupid lights, my house was totally torched

hey, jingle bells, go to hell
get out of my way
oh what fun it is to shove my fist right through your face
jingle this, jingle that
have a lousy day
and don't come back again until your voice has gone away

you all sing out of key
you look like eskimos
if i pull out an uzi, that's the way it goes
don't say i didn't warn you
get off my property
i must tell you, you really bring out the axe murderer in me

hey, jingle bells, go to hell
get out of my way
oh what fun it is to shove my fist right through your face
jingle this, jingle that
have a lousy day
and don't come back again until your voice has gone away
just like mine

Previous Track (9/12): Frotsky the Snowman Next Track (11/12): Deck the Stalls

Back to A Velvet Cockroach Christmas