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The Greenish Blues

there's a philadendron on his shelf
he planted it all by himself
his favorite foods are broccoli and guacamole
he was born on st. patrick's day
he drives a green chevrolet
his favorite team is the jets he says they'll go to the super bowl

his house is painted emerald
his cheese is covered with green mold
and you should see his lawn
the grass is always greener on his side
his girlfriend has green eyes
dunked her hair in green dye
she wears green lipstick and green eyeliner
and her green shoelaces are never tied

he's got the greenish blues
and he don't know what to do
everywhere he goes
he keeps seeing that same god-forsaken shade
and if something orange doesn't happen soon
well he's gonna hit the green cheese moon
don't ever give him, don't even let him
don't let him see a jade

his street is lined with trees
his garden grows nothing but peas
his only pets are a frog and a green goldfish
he only uses quarters and dimes
green dollar bills make him whine
he's sick to death of green, ready to scream
grant him this one wish

take away his greenish blues
'cause he don't know what to do
everywhere he goes
he keeps seeing that same god-forsaken shade
and if something purple doesn't happen soon
well he's gonna hit the green cheese moon
don't ever give him, don't even let him
don't let him see a jade