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Whether Report

get a pen, get a pencil, get a crayon if you like
gonna give it to you fast, so you better get psyched
if you don't get it all, well that's too bad
guess you'll just die; that's really sad

temperature now is sixty; make it fifty; thirty
twenty, no eighty percent humidity
the sun is shining bright today
but it's all a dirty trick; there's a blizzard on its way

whoops, it missed us

well excuse me for making a little mistake
guess i should go to the electric chair
at least then i'd know what'd happen next
and not have to tell everybody what to wear

wait, my machine's broke; can't light it up
what a shame, what a pity, had some really good stuff
drew up a whole map and colored it too
couldn't decide on green or blue

i guess we'll have to screw that; well that's just great
this gives new meaning to the word frustrate
whoops, this special bulletin just came in
oh no, better notify your next kin

here comes a big tornado

well excuse me for telling you a few minutes late
why don't you put me in front of a firing squad
i can't be held responsible for everything
why don't you go and yell at god

hey get this buddy, there's a hurricane
that traveled here all the way from maine
how it got that far north, i don't know
but what really worries me is how it got to colorado

no wait, scratch that last report
looks like i'm gonna be taken to court
the south platte river is moving apart
and we're all gonna fall in faster than a dart

temperature tomorrow in the mid seventies
with partly cloudy skies and mild afternoon breezes

well excuse me for being a human being
guess we're going off the air
then you'll be completely on your own
and let me tell you something, i really care

now to the sports